I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize