and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize