check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
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