you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
