he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
