Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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