A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
