You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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