so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
