Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
