I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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