and you said cock pushups were impossible
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
