these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
