when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
