My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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