I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
