I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
