I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize