at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
And then my night got REAL pukey
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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