do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
