Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize