U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
pray to the hookup gods
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize