69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
