Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
