you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
