We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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