remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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