i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
