College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
