Soap is not a condiment
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
