You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
