I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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