wat bout pragnant strippers??
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
