singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
