So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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