What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
