Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
