I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize