I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
