found the other keg... it's in the tree
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
