I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Couch. On fire.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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