Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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