I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
