my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
