R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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