was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
