Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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