I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize