nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
