i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
