No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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