just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
