Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
