420 ftw
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
