so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
