Cold hands, warm shart.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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