Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
