Just fell off a train. Bad.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
