i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
