dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
