haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
