I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
