im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You ruined the universe
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
