Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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